Friday.
It was NCC Day yesterday and the NCC Cadets were marching and blahh before the morning assembly. Had Maths the first period and I dont quite understand the questions when we have to break the triangle up. Nevermind, more revision will help. After Maths was Geography then. I went out of the class and was laughing like hell with Zul and Reesha. I cant remember about what but the next thing I know is I got scolded from Mr Oei for laughing too loud. Damn paisey la. I must must learn how to control it. Wahaha! :D Geography is fun, getting exciting and the chapter study I manage to understand. After Geography was English and we did nothing much. Mdm Chua asked us to write an essay on "An Unfair Punishment" and then suddenly Mdm Ratnam came and gave us each an Oreo chocolate stick. Thats so sweet of her. Ty! (:
After recess was POA and it was hilarious la. Ms Kwok told us to do 3 questions and hand in on time when ...

Ms Kwok: Do questions 6, 9 and 10 now and hand in after the bell ring.
Laavania(JAY): Where got time want, Cher.
Ms Kwok: Have, my 3A students can finish it on time, why cant you.
Laavania(JAY): Because A comes first before E!
and the whole class was laughing our ass out.

After POA we had 2o mins with Mdm Ratnam and then proceed to hall for some Youth Day mini concert. It was a skit act by Mdm Chua, Mr Tee, Mr Steven Wong, Mr Peh and Ms Chng. It was damn interesting and funny la. I think Im theo ne who laugh the loudest there. Hahah!
After school I went to have my lunch with the monsters and then headed for my EMCEE thingy. With Eugene around, it was super double fun! And I cant wait for the BIG DAY! Rawrrr!

Saturday.
Went to meet up with 2 monsters; Ernie & Nazzy. Ate at Banquet and then headed to AMK Hub and got ourself a top each from IP Zone. Then went to 300+ to slack till 8pm and 265ed home. And now, I want go finish up all my homework, BYE!

finally im back here updating my blog. i dont want it to be so so dead. school starts and ive not been having enough sleep and rest and yes, no time for computer. grr. so lets recap.

tuesday.

lessons were per normal. the weather was not fine so we went straight to class for our assembly. maths was first lesson and we proceed to a new chapter; Chapter 6. and yes, there are rules are the funny part was when someone ask if there's such rule as "ASS" as we need to remember 4 rules; SSS, SAS, RHS, AAS. hahas! after maths was english and we did nothing much. mdm chua told us to write a short 120 words story on our june hols or "break". had biology next and sits were rearranged but i remain. (: and yes, i think im really gonna buck up on my biology. after bio was recess as usual.

after recess was mt. we got cikgu hawa for our mt teacher. and nazzy says she's a clown and i laughed like hell. cos i was imagining her in the red nose! (funny la, laugh!) however, i miss mr hasreen's teaching. i mean he's more gerek and fun. & oh ya, cikgu hawa define the word "gerek" and i forget it actually means. lol! after mt was geography and we proceed to a new chapter; river! zul nearly slept and then..

samuel: eh zul, dont sleep la. you CSM lei.

me: CSM? what the hell is that?

samuel: its cock sucking machine la. you dont know ah? (me: laughing)

zul: your head la. seri, dont listen to him. he talk rubbish.

me: huh? what you all talking? i catch no balls at all.

zul & samuel: there no balls at all here for you to catch.

me: huh?! no that balls la.

samuel: then?

zul: nvm, seri, you damn slow la.

me: orh okeyhs. -_-

actually what samuel was trying to say was he was teasing zul. zul just got his rank in NCC and the short form for it was CSM. so i was like, ok whatever then. weird thing, after the bell rang we had mt again. its called mt(sir) i dont even know what the sir stands for. we watch a movie and i slept throughout. its boring can?

after school, went to meet ms chan for the emcee thingy. and yes, we were given the script and programme for that day's event. and yeahh, it ends not so late. like around 4pm. then went to AMK Hub and meet mom then. mom scold me for wearing my second and third hole stud.

mom: see! you wear again?! im gonna tell your father.

me: *tongue stick out* whatever la. you get for sister real gold ear stud and me? nothing!

mom: you dont like gold what, thats why i never buy for you.

me: hello? that time i ask for silver one, you say okay, next month pay. till now also nothing lei.

mom: you sure not? okay fine, we'll see here got or not. *smiles*

me: i want go get the cheap earstud for the meanwhile can? i choose, you pay.

i went to "Whats In" and then i saw earstud. 1 pair for $1.90, 3 pairs for $5.

me: help me choose which one.

mom: so not real and it cost $5?!

me: fine, then go see other shelf then.

mom: eh, this one nice?(showing me the earstud)

me: eh nice, star some more. can la.

mom: okay, go get this then.

me: but expensive you know. $9.50, you wont mind?

mom: no, as long as you take out the other studs at the other hole.

me: fine, whatever then.

hahah! so mom bought me a star earstud that cost her $9.50. like so wasted la. well, fetch little brother from religious class and 265ed home. (:

wednesday.

i was late. i didnt have enough sleep okay. i slept at 12 or 1am i think. oh well. i came school like just nice. few minutes before bell ring. first period was physics at new venue and new teacher. and yes, ms chng is superb! i bet i'll pass physics with higher grades. i like her teaching very very la. & i saw mr macho halfway. haha! shhh! PE was next. we had our 2.4km run again. i failed by just a minute or a few seconds only la. damn! but i pass now. weehaa! after PE was biology. continue with yesterday's chapter. i think i can understand better now. (i think only, but im not sure for FYE) after bio went for recess as usual.

had social studies after recess and we proceed to new chapter. ala, easy say, every subjects have now moved on to new chapter, new topic. everything new la. like once in a blue moon, i complete a worksheet for SS in class. *clap hands* after SS was maths and then assembly. i was excused from assembly.

so i went to meet ms chan and the other 3 emcees. we practise and went through the script and all. at 210 we were dismissed and went canteen to have our lunch as at 3pm, there'll be a rehersal for the performers. it didnt went smoothly, seriously. there's a change in the programme and we emcees were so confused on which comes first. at about 6pm, the whole thing ended and mrs maimohan gave us some feedbacks.

& guess what, she wants us to rememberise the whole script. no cards, no paper, nothing at all. omgomg! i was glad enough that my part require not much of talking and rememberising. so yeah.

i reach home at 7pm ++. bathed and slept throughout till 5am. i receive alot of msgs and all. haha! must be too tired i guess. 5am i started to pack bag, iron my uniforms and all. my art was due tomorrow and i didnt even touch a thing yet. but thank god i did the research and drawing only. painting i didnt do anything. wahhh. bath and headed for school.

thursday.

ss was first period. i am still sleepy during the lesson and i nearly dozed off while mrs chatterji was teaching and then she goes, "those people who are sleeping, you better wake up ah!" blahh! after ss was physics and we study pressure. im in love with physics now. haha! poa was next and my holiday homework was incomplete. i mean half of it. so i didnt bother to hand in the work. after poa was recess as usual.

mt was next and it was boring. i hate mt lessons now. seriously. i dont know how im gonna survive till FYE. the funny part was when...

fyi; ahginn is Quraishah. (:

ahginn: eh seri, cikgu fail art tau.

me: huh? asal lak?

ahginn: because she dont know how to match her scarf and clothing.

me: *laughing non stop*

-____________-

english with the NIE teacher was fun. miss aliah says im talkative. yes, i am. (at least i admit okay!) after english was art! yes, art! i love it. except for the part when she ask to hand in the holiday homework, i'll be in dead meat. :D luckily, the holiday homework are not requested to hand in just now. she was busy talking about STPI guide thingy for the Sec 1's and the MICA programme.

i'll be super duper busy this whole week. im free only on weekends i guess. and thats revision and rest day for me la. i can at least get to sleep for long hours. ahhhh, like finally! yeahh! :D so tell me, any day that i can go out and have fun? no right? shits!

folks, do miss me okay? i'll update when im free aite? take care. :D

PEOPLE! SITI QURAISHAH IS INSANE!! (:

I'M TALKING TO HER ON THE PHONE NOW AND SHE'S ENTERTAIN HERSELF. NOW, CURRENTLY SINGING AND LAUGHING AT HER OWNSELF.

"AMBOI MAK MINAH...." hahas! :D

RRRAAAWWWRRR!

1230am conference with NESHQ, exclude rara. We were on the phone till 5am then Nini hang up and the rest to wash up and all. So I didnt had enough sleep at all. Meet them at 586 at 645am then .. 73ed to school and yeah, we're on time. (:

There were plenty of new teachers introduced. Yeahhh! We wasted like 45mins at parade square and then first 2 periods with form teacher. Oh hell, Mdm Ratnam changed my position and I was shift all the way up to the front door... ALONE! Damn la. My life in classroom is for sure to be VERY DULL. But I somehow hope, this position will let my mind set thinking in studying. :D

&&&&&& Ms Rachel Chng will be my new Physics teacher!!! OMGOMG! Luckily, AhGinn is in the same class as me. But Rara will be with the other group instead. Timetable was changed to and on Wednesday I'll be having 2 Science lesson in one day. WTH!

& recess totally sucks la. I dont mind them sitting together and sharing table but please, IT'S NOT FUNNY WHEN SOMEBODY'S EATING AND YOU'LL BANG THE PERSON. You'll know what I'm trying to say here. If you, or you or whoever read this and know what I'm trying to say here, then THANK GOD! Inform your dear friend. I'm sure you don't like it right if I do to you? Don't let others do what you don't want others to do upon you! I won't talk much about it cos I find it childish to fight over a table. Forget it.

After school, I went for EMCEE Top 10 Audition and I'm selected la for the Top 4. Oh yeahhh! Okeyh, I'm tired now. I need to get some rest for now. Take care, Bloggers. :D

Was on the phone with AhGinn yesterday at 1am onwards. We talk like for so long till 5am, I think. She & her craps. I swear yesterday was my worst laughter ever.

Woke up and wash up all. Went to 505 and do my hair. I thought it's gonna cost $24 but it cost me $20 instead. & Ahginn and Nazzy came down too. Walk home with AhGinn and then went over to Mom's place and then went home.

I went to iron my school uniform then complete my homework. Geography is done. English & POA; I swear I never even bother to read the questions. Maths, Bio, Art was halfway and then at 7pm, Mom came to my room and I was distracted.
& I'm gonna start tuition hopefully tomorrow and Wednesday from 5pm onwards. Like whoa, school is gonna reopen tomorrow and my homework are still incomplete. Initially the plan was actually to change the position of the room at 830pm sharp but...

I give up on homework now. People, be good, don't follow me okeyh? Take care. I want go get some rest for now.

Oh yes! I change my blogskin. The colours and bright and I love it!

Well, I didn't went for Netball Carnival today. I was on the phone with Nazzy, Nini & AhGinn till like 3am I think. Slowly one by one put down. Oh, yes we have lots of laughter. Because of this I was having asthma and I can't breathe while I wanted to sleep. So yeah, that's the reason why. I wonder how's the carnival was.

&&& then later at 4pm, I went to meet AhGinn. 265ed to AMK Central and bought the Converse shoe. Yes, AhGinn is noisy as per normal and she'll go around talking to her ownself. (Psst, she doesn't know how to wipe off Old Chang Kee's sauce at her cheeks.) After buying the shoe, went over to POPULAR and bought some stuffs. Walk back home & saw Mimi. (aaw, after so long.)

Went over to my place and slack till 730pm. Yeah, alot of stories shared and "oi, aku nak belajar! tkmo kacau! (:" Yes, new mission when school reopen. Study & No Disturbance, Please. :D & yes, I want to go hit the books for now.

"Oi, aku nak belajar, takmo kacau. :D"

Happy 9th Birthday Amirul! :D

Hope you enjoy your day just now & study hard, play less!

Oh well, yesterday at around 3am, I gave Lil Bro a good birthday bash. I kick his ass & the whole body till he drop on the floor and Granny was like, "Eh, da malam. Gi tdo!"(Eh, night already, go sleep!). Blahblah.

I slept late yesterday. I was on the phone with this friend of mine. Its been months eversince we've talk on the phone. & I admit I really do miss him alot. Because of some misunderstandings that we fought like .... I miss him. I want us to be like last time. And I pray that you'll be all fine. Take good care of yourself, please. And I'm suprised of what you've said earlier. I mean is this real? Well, I hope so. Glad that you've changed. I'm here for you, bro.

I was awaken by this fucking irritating bro nagging asking me to wake up. Granny made a deal with me. I must wake up at 10am to help her with the cooking for the later on mini party and yet ... I wake up at 2pm instead. Come on la, I slept at 6am okeyh! On the phone and completing my holiday homeworks. I'm still left with a few more to go. Come on! & Art, omgomg!

So went to buy drinks with Cik Eton at 5pm then at 7pm, went to take the cake from Prima Deli. Her husband came and fetch us. Car-ed home and then order food from Mom's shop and then Cake Ceremony. Haha! Not that fun. The fun part was talking with Aunts & Uncles. && I was being lecture by them of my results and studies. Blahhh! Okeyh, I'm done. I wanna hit the books now. Bye bye! :D

Pictures up! (:

i was suppose to go for training today but my hp alarm clock didnt rang as my batt was flat. now ive turn really dark. the face, body not so. even my grandmother says that too. woke up and wash up. meet my girls at 430 at CC. slack and play cards till 6pm and i went to Prima Deli to order little bro's birthday cake. went back and meet them. ate chocalate waffles and then walk home at 730pm.

tomorrow little brother birthday and the family are coming down. so i'll be pretty busy. pictures will be uploaded. (:

school assignments! omgomg! ive got so many things to do this week. my art, and my hols assignment. im only free on friday and thats it. sunday i guess i'll be going for gig. gosh!

school open too fast la. extend for a few days can? hoho.

And so today I woke up at 10am and got ready. 132ed to Hougang Interchange and then meet Feifei(Gwee Sokling) at Hougang MRT. Mrted to Harbourfront and tram to Siloso Beach. I can say there's alot of chinese hunks rather than malay hunks. Oh well, look for a perfect spot and lay the mat. Changed spot quite a few times as the sun was not directly to us.

It was less than an hour and we're like so so dark la. Seriously. I show you the difference later on. And there's this Indian guys not guys la, old men suits better. Damn disgusting la. Swam with their undies and the balls are bulging out like, "hello?". I pretend didn't see anything. & Coach Patrol come to the rescue. He told that old men to put on his trousers. Hahah!

3pm bathed and then tram to Sentosa Station(Vivo City). Ate at Banquet and then went browsing around. Feifei bought a ripcurl side bag that cost $30+ and paid for $28.80 after 20% discount. Cool gitu kan? And I'm craving for this black Ripcurl side bag. I think I'm gonna get that instead of the Ripcurl wallet. After getting her stuffs, mrted to Dhoby and went Plaza Singapura and then Heeren. Mrted back home till Ang Mo Kio and she alight at Yio Chu Kang.

Saw Nini & Rara while walking down the escalator. Went AMK Hub and then 265ed home. & now, I'm like so damn tan la. See the pictures for proof. ((:

Today's training is tough. Very. Did court work and then went for a break. Repeatedly and the sun was shining directly. Gosh! And oh ya, before training, Ederlyn & Jasmine came together with cake for Alice's birthday which was already a few days ago. Ate the cake together and sang song all. Happy 16th Birthday Alice! :D After training, went AMK Hub to look for something with Ikah. Then went to Sportslink and get the stuffs that we've aimed and proceed to AMK's Mac to eat. Slack for awhile at 700+ then proceed home.

Got changed and then went to meet them later. I hope everything's fine now. Uh uh, I dont think so. We're like strangers now. I can only interact when the whole lot are there but not when I'm with her. It's really very awkward. I mean it, very. Thanks to that fucking bastard for ruining and adding more problems in my fucking life. Just what the fuck do you want from the fucking 5 of us?! Get your fucking face and your fucking presence from our fucking life can, you fucking fucker?! I'm gonna curse you from today onwards. Just wait & see. (:

Oh well, tomorrow I'll be going Sentosa with Gwee Sokling/Retrophuck/Feifei/Ain Nabila or whatever her nick is lah. Haha! :D I'll blog more tomorrow. ((:

People are having fun with their love ones during the holidays. Be it with their family, friends or boyfriends. And me? I'm stuck at home, doing every house chores that Granny asked to, taking care of Granny and Little Irritating Brother. Someone ask me out, please?

I want go out and have fun like others too. I want go shopping like others too. I got so many plans in my mind. This Tuesday will be heading to Sentosa then Vivo with Sokling. Anyone wants to keep me accompany on either 21st or 22nd? I want go Zoo with lots of people. And I want try Ice Skating too. Also I want to watch Nancy Drew on the 21st. Anyone available?

School holidays are going to end soon and I'm so not looking forward for school to reopen. Things are in a mess right now. My holidays assignment are piled up on my table. Somehow I manage to complete my Maths homework and half of my Artwork is complete. I'm left with the paintings. Bio; I've done 2 chapters. 4 more to go and I'm done. So I still got English, Physics, Geography and POA left.

I want make more new friends out there. I think MySpace & Friendster is really worth it to find new friends. And can I have a boyfriend? I miss having one. Okeyh, I sound so desperate here but I'm not okay! I'm just speaking out of my mind.

• I want a guy that doesnt think 'sex' is a must to do in relationship.
• I want a guy that can motivates me to study & success in everything I do.
• I want a guy that can last long and be loyal with me.
• I want a guy that can understand me to the fullest.
• Trust and love is a must from him.
• I want the guy to be there when I need him.

Can I have this person to be my boyfriend? Hah! How I wish!

So yesterday, I went to Tampines West CC to watch Al Munawarrah's performance. Dali&co did a great job la. The performance were awesome. The costumes by different groups were effing nice and Al Munawarrah merge in champion for the Tunas Group. They've also won the Best Costume, Best Leader and Future Leader award. Congrats! The comments received by the judges are satisfying.

I saw alot of my friends there. & shockingly, Hidayat was there. Then I saw Huda, Sabila and few more la. After the performance, we bus-ed home with them to Marsiling. Gosh, boys really don't know how to fold their cloth. Funny! Then after they've changed, we then proceed to Teh Tarik to eat and slack. Cab home at around 130am with Sis.

3 cheers for Al-Munawarrah! :D

Oh yeahhhhhhhhhh! I had fun just now. I had to come in the Netball tee as im swapping my jersey size. Went to Staff Room and collect the jersey from Ms Chan and then proceed to the canteen. The Canberra have reach already, both B & C Division. As the C Div were playing first, the B Div slack and we chit chat. Me, Ikah, Shahedah & Phyllis. The weather was not that fine when the C Div wanted to start the match. Coach ask to bring the pole up and we proceed to the hall then.

C Div played.. erm I must say they need more practice but oh well, afterall its just a friendly match. The B Div played well. Some funny scenes like for example, Jasmine, her opponent knock her head and then her head stands up like a chicken. I swear, its damn funny la. Even coach laughs at her too. Then after the whole match ends, and oh ya. We added another quarter and we beat them.

After the match, we had our lunch and then set up for the next activities. After setting up, Coach gave us some comments and brief us for the next activity. We were each given a piece of paper and stapled to the back of our shirts and we need to go around and comment each other. Things to improve and good things about us. So the most comment I received is to control my laughter. Yeahhhh, I know. My laugh is HORRIBLE. Like a chicken, everyone says that too. When you hear, then you'll understand. & Phyllis made me laugh like one cuckoo. She keep saying, "gigi arrrrrrnab" means rabbit teeth. But the 'r' is to 'rrrrrr'. I was laughing like hell that my ears, cheeks and face turn red. I swear!

After that activity, we then proceed to the Watermelon activity. We were group in 5 and we have to finish up one big watermelon. The first one to finish it will win. & worst, we have to cut open it by ourself. NO TOOLS ARE GIVEN. & clever me(hahahaha!) smashed the watermelon at the edge of the table. Can you imagine, the watermelon is like so heavy(hello, ours is the biggest) and I have to carry it and smashed it to the table and make sure it does fall to the floor. That part was super funny. Sadly, we lost but nvm. We had to clean up the mess made and then proceed to our next activity. & YiPing, I maid hors! Qualified to be one, right?! She hug me alot of times today. Strange but nvm. This is call 'bonding'. HAHA!

The next activity was fun. We had to turn 5 rounds using the hockey sticks. I mean using our forehead and then duck walk(reminds me of Mr Tan(DM)'s detention) to the table with a bag full of flour and we have to search using our face for sweet. Duck walk back to the chair placed in between and then rush to either toilet or the canteen basin and collect water then put it in the pail infront of the table. Damn funny la. Our group was creative enough. We put the water in our mouth and wet our shirt. Then squeeze out from the shirt and spit in the pail. Hahah! My team mates(Shahedah, Jasmine, Hui Tian, Atikah & me). Damn funny la. Our group was the second to complete it.

After the game we had to clean the mess & guess what?! Coach was being bullied by us. We threw flour at her and worst I came from back and pour the whole packet of flour from her head to her neck then to her back. Hahahaha! Then time to clean up and washed up. Overall, the activities lined up is super duper fun. Alice birthday was tomorrow and she was bullied by Coach. The pictures are not with me yet. Will post it very soon.

After shower, me & Atikah went to eat Mac at AMK. Then walk around AMK Hub. Then went to Sportslink and there's this Adidas sling bag. Damn nice! I must get it & also that something. Saw _____. Then walk back to CC and slack for awhile with my cliques(Dali&co) The Kompang people. At around 8pm, sent Ikah at 88 bus stop and I went to Mom's shop to take some food up and then headed home. Im tired for now.

Tomorrow another day, another beginning. Will post the pictures very soon. :D

[editted]

Oh well, I was suppose to catchShrek 3 with my family yesterday but it was postponed to today as Mom took off. The outing was suppose to be my lil bro's birthday on the 21st but somehow Mom couldnt make it, so we push forward to today. I woke up pretty early today and accompany Mom to the market to get some stuffs. We were suppose to leave house at around 2pm, but this pig(sister) was still sleeping so it was drag to 3pm. Got ready and 265ed and mrted.

Alighted at Somerset and went to book tickets at Cathay Cineleisure. Since the movie starts at 605pm, we went browsing around. Lil Bro wanted to get his game stuffs. Boys, what do you expect. & Sis wanted to go shopping. So we went to Topshop at Wisma's outlet first. Nothing catch her eyes but the printed tees and one of the tops catch my eyes la. I must must start saving now!

Then went to Forever 21 and Sis love one of the top there. Well, she likes it but I dont like. She's more to those lady lady & feminine type la, me? Hahaha! Im rough. :D But hello! Im not tomboy okeyh. Then went over to Mango outlet and browse around. Oh ya, before that, went to Takashimaya and went to GUESS. OMG! They're having sales & we bought a GUESS wallet for Mom as her birthday is drawing near. Actually not, 18 July near meh? Heehee. Then went to
m:]phosis and Sis bought her black tote bag there.

Then hop in to Lucky Plaza and went to get Lil Bro games stuff & Sis gonna get me a new mp3, I mean mp4. I had two options actually; its either PSP or MP4. But since she wanted PSP, she told me that she'll get me MP4 end of this month. Weeehhhaa! Then then, the clock strikes 535pm, so we walk back to Cathay and then bought some foodies and movie starts. Shrek 3 is super duper fun la, especially the Donkey & the puss in boots. Aaww.

After the movie, we went separate ways. Me & Sis headed to Marina Square. Bought her top at Miss Selfidge and then went browsing around. The printed tees from Flesh Imp is nice la. I want go get it. & that Ripcurl wallet. & I saw this Adidas jacket, I think im getting that instead of the Ripcurl cardi. Wooo. I need lotsa money!

&& tomorrow, will be having Netball Camp, well not really camp. There's training and some activities. So yeahh, blog more tomorrow! :D

Hello.

I'll blog less, see me in MSN or contact my house no(if you have).

Take Care.

I was suppose to attend training yesterday but I couldnt stand up. My left leg muscle was still aching. I cried in pain and in the end, I didnt attend for training. Woke up at around 12 and wash up all. Granny gave me a good massage and i scream like hell.

Later in the noon, Mom asked to accompany her to bank and then get some stuffs at AMK Hub. Went to pay all the house bills then headed to AMK Hub, I bought myself the green havaianas that Ive been craving for. Then went browsing around. Sis bought herself a white leather tote bag at BEGA. After getting our stuffs, went to NTUC Fairprice to shop somekitchen stuffs and then headed to MacDonald to have our supper and 265ed home. & now, my leg is still aching.

Ive got no mood to blog anymore, Ill either change link or maybe close down this blog.

Im on the verge of losing my love ones. I dont want say much. Im the cause of everything. Thanks to me for causing lots of shits to happen this year. Ive planned to revise during this week but I cant. My mind is wondering elsewhere, thinking about other stuffs and I cant focus. Im giving up in studies. For sure, Im gonna make my parents down again this final year examinations. Whats the use of Mom hiring me a tuitor? I dont have confidence that I'll success in studies. Let it be if I have to drop to the Academic stream. If i try to study, but my mind is elsewhere, then whats the use? I wanna end everything. I dont suffer anymore and I dont want to see my love ones to shed a tear because of me. Blame me for being in this situation. Blame me for being so stupid, not thinking of whats more important and what comes first. I am to be blame for all this shits.
I can change if I want to, but the trust to regain back from them is difficult. People always say that its difficult to trust someone whom have once broke a trust. So thats it. Ive left with no other choice, its either, I step out from their life and moved on with my own life, or solve it. But i know if this matter is solved, still, Im gonna feel awkward and I know I'll be treat differently and coldly. Im confused, I dont want leave them but ... Somethings are better left to be unsaid. I appreciate everything they gave. Memories will still be kept deep down in my heart. Im sorry. I failed.
I know I hurt you alot and make you cry ALOT. Im sorry. I know you'll say sorry is easy to say but deep down in your heart ... Let me go far away from you girls. I know what Im doing this time. I want to know no one. I dont want get close with anyone. Take care.

i did nothing much today. i wake up pretty late today at around 4plus. i guess this is due to the lack of sleep i had for the past few days. tomorrow i will be having a training and my left leg muscle is killing me. i cant walk properly. Ahhh! & later at 8am tomorrow, AhGinn's leaving to KL and will be back on the 15th. i'll be missing her like hell. i mean turn by turn are leaving for holiday and me, still stuck in Singapore with the same environment. have a safe journey come & go. :'(

we're not in talking terms for this past few days. usually we'll tend to talk on the phone till late night but somehow things changed. yesterday i was suppose to meet them but instead i spoiled it. i know i am to be blame. ive spent too much time on others and not my loved ones who are always there for me. i am so selfish. i admit it.
i dont wish to be apart from her but i think we are, slowly.
i dont want lose her but i think i am, slowly.
i dont want our friendship to be destroy but it is, slowly.
and now, i dont know what to do. all i did was to cry and cry throughout the whole night before sleeping. i use to crap jokes with her and laugh like hell whenever we meets and infact almost everday without missing. but things are different now. partly its because of me. i blame myself for being so selfish, thinking about myself and not others. eversince the _______, everything's different.
i want the old her,
i want the old times and
i want the old us.
if only i know this would happen, i wont be doing it in the first place. i was careless. and now, its all in a mess. if i want to sort things out now, i think i'll ruin the friendship instead. should i step out and lead a new environment which i know i cant bare to or should i just remain silence? i need to make a confession to them but i know this will sure be a chaos. definitely. i mean it. i cant keep it to myself anymore. i want to let it all out but i dont know who. its all in a mess and i have to clear it all by myself and i dont know how. i cant help it but to cry day & night on my bed. sometimes i feel like im sucha a burden to all. to them, to my family. i lose many of my loved ones this year after reminscing the past. i miss my oldself and my old times i use to have. no problems, no stress. nothing at all. i was free like a bird. my mind was in peace but not now. now everything is different. ive made a greatest mistake that i know they wont forgive me and i bet they'll hate me even more and lose the trust that we used to have. i wanna go. i dont wish to suffer alone and hurt people's feeling. ive had enough.

i want to break free..

I just came back from Toa Payoh Sports Hall. Well, we went to watch the NSL(Netball Super League). We had much fun then later on went to meet Ernie at the interchange in AMK HUb and sent her off. And we got our tees and its supre duper nice la. Okeyh, I'm done. I want to sleep.

NESHQ; I'm sorry. :(

&& THEY'RE BACK LIKE FINALLY!

So yeahh, my loves are finally back home safely earlier just now. I'm missing them like hell and now, I can finally meet them. Wee!

I was awaken by Eugene's phone call. My alarm was suppose to rang at 730 but I didnt feel the vibration and sound at all. I was in deep sleep I guess. Come on, I went to bed at 2am, then I roll on my bed for few times yet I can't get to sleep. Then at 3am, I finally dozed off but was awaken by a call at 430am, then I chatted till like 5 I guess and then I can't sleep. And I dozed off back at around 545am and the next minute I realise it was already 840! I'm late la! The Audition thingy starts at 830 and Eugene sms-ed me saying that we're numbered and I'm second. Gosh gosh.

I went to get ready all and blahh. Phew! Luckily I was in time then the audition went smoothly. They smiled but I didn't screwed up. Hhaa, we had a mini-slack then I went off for my training next. Ran 10 rounds and then join the others. Training today is not that tough. & tomorrow we're gonna be going to Toa Payoh Sports Hall to watch the NSL at 3pm, so yeahh blog more later.

So I went to meet Fucker earlier on. Called and then wash up. Mrted to Somerset and went to book tickets for Men In White, the 5.55pm slot. After the booking, walk over to Far East as we're an hour early and then browse around the shops there. After browsing, went back to Cathay and then the movie begins. No regrets watching the movie. It was hilarious la. Haha. I was laughing my ass out in the theatre.

After the movie we walk all the way to Dhoby and drop by Plaza Singapura. I went to watch the ripcurl wallet in the Flash&Splash and i found this cardigan. Nice nice. Im gonna get it. And also the printed tees at Flesh Imp. OMGOMG! I really want go shopping.

We then went separate ways. I went to meet up Khai, Fadzli, Md Noh, Irfan(Psycho), Taufik, Aaron(Ah Tank), Aji & Gegerl(Byy). The other lot was not there as they just got back from jamming. Went home at around 10 and then mrted back alone and 265ed back. So yeahh, thats about it.

Tomorrow am gonna be having the EMCEE thingy and training. So wish me luck. And Im going on a date tomorrow. Hahaha!

Well, I did nothing much on Tuesday except for playing computer games and rot at home and not forgetting, chatting and crapping with the lil fucker on the phone till late night. Haha. Nini & Nazzy, come back fast! We're missing you like hell. And after their arrival, Fucker gonna leave to Malaysia for 4 days. Boohoo! I got no one to crap with. And hell, yesterday, she asked, "What if im not around?" Like wtf! Hello my BESTIE, 9 years with you in so meaningful, except for the arguments and quarelling la. And fancy you asking what if you're not around. &*^%

I went to school for the EMCEE Workshop thingy at NYP. Woo, the school is damn big la. And ya, the funny part happens when we're in the bus. Eugene and I was laughing like hell la. The whole workshop was fun and the hands-on was so cool. Eugene, remember the advertisements? Hahahah! And my photographer, he took lots of pictures there. With so much of pictures, I dont know which to post, so I guess, this one picture with the photographer will do. Haha! Thanks yaww. See you on Friday for the next round and lets hope we both are qualified. (:


And tomorrow, Im gonna meet up with the Fucker and catch movie, Men In White. So yeahh, I blog more tomorrow.

OMGOMG! Today is 6th June, and tomorrow is 7th June. Okeyhs, stop reminiscing.(is it spelt correctly?)

Paula Deanda-Footprints On My Heart .
You don't even hold me like you used to hold me
And that's the way you could've made all the things you told me
Yeah, yeah
I remember when you told me you'd never lie to me
I can't believe I trusted you
I sacrificed my time and my heart
I gave you my all and what you do

You stepped on me, you walked on me
Boy you left your
Footprints on my
Heart broken crying over the way you left your
Footprints on my
Heart aching you ran all over me and left your
Footprints on my heart
My heart

I know the way you were before me
And I was crazy to think you'd change
I put up with your attitude
Your selfish ways and your childish games (whoa)
A good heart always ends up broken
But overtime, it'll make me strong
I'ma put the pieces back together
Might take some time, but I just go on

You stepped on me, you walked on me
Boy you left your
Footprints on my
Heart broken crying over the way you left your
Footprints on my
Heart aching you ran all over me and left your
Footprints on my heart
My heart

Love me or leave me
I don't mind
My heart can't take this pain
We had something so beautiful
But now it's not the same
So I gotta let this go
Gotta take back the truth
This situation makes no good for me
I can't believe I let it happen like this
I just sat back while you

You stepped on me, you walked on me
Boy you left your
Footprints on my
Heart broken crying over the way you left your
Footprints on my
Heart aching you ran all over me and left your
Footprints on my heart
My heart

Ooh, whoa, ooh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh

Oh finally, my hands have touch the books! I've just completed half of my Maths Holiday Assignment, Bio Chapter 1 mindmap and now currently doing half of my Physics 10 years series book and Art Assignments. I'm still left with POA, Geography & English. Come on, you can do it!

I woke up pretty early today at 10am and wash up all. Meet AhGinn under my void deck and had our breakfast. Slack till like 12pm then headed home and mugged till now. I'm taking a break now and relaxing my mind.

I'm wandering what my Nazzy & Nini are doing currently. I miss them badly. Never have we been separated till like this. As in, they're overseas, and me here stuck in Singapore! Oh gosh.

So well, yesterday I chatted on the phone with the usua people. & haha! AhGinn, he's back!!! & yeah, nightmare for me. Don't ask why. Let's not elaborate more here.

For this two days, I guess I'm planning to complete all my holidays assignments as the next few week, I'll be busu with training as EMCEE thingy.

I bloghop people's blog and majority of them are going shopping. OMGOMG! I want money. Mommy, give me some money can?! I seriously need go get my stuffs as soon as possible. Well well, let's just wait.

I MISS THEM!

Initially, the plan was to sent both of them to airport but somehow, me&ahginn decide not to. I mean families and teachers will be there, and we're like so extra. So, it was cancelled. Nini msg us at about 11+ while she was on her way to airport. Then at around 1 plus, Nazzy called saying they're gonna leave soon. I manage to talk to Nini too. After I hang up the phone call, tears roll down. I don't know why. It was all out of a sudden. I'm missing them badly now. Wandering what they're doing now in Vietnam. Come back fast girls. Take care & enjoy your trip there. (:

After the phone call, I wash up and get ready to accompany sis to AMK central. She wanted to get her lenses. After buying her lenses went browsing around AMK Hub. I'm dying for MONEY! Sis said she'll top up a few sum for me to change my handphone back. I want back my 6288 la! this 7610 is seriously no good. & father sent something to our handphone. Some sort like a virus. It keeps shutting down while I was typing msg or browsing through the menu. WTF! Adding on, Sis said that she's gonna be taking me out to Wild Wild Wet with her ITE friends this coming Tuesday/Friday. Haha, her friends are missing me & she's jealous.

Headed home at around 6pm then drop by mother's place. I was suppose to meet Ahginn for our afternoon jog but I cannot get through her. So it was cancelled then. & now, I'm rotting at home, blogging and listening to my granny's nagging.

I can't stand it anymore. Sis ran out as she can't tolerate with her anymore. & I think I'm gonna do that too. Oh well, I blog more when I feel like. Like what Ahginn says, I think I blog less as I'm piled up with more and more holidays assignments! See ya! ((:

Okeyhs, so yesterday's plan was suppose to go morning jog with AhGinn, but somehow the plan was changed and we went YCK Swimming Complex for swimming instead, together with Nini. We were late for a few minutes but Nini was damn early la. I went to meet AhGinn under her void deck at 0730 then 72ed to YCK. We get some food for ourselves then walk to the complex. The sun was scorching directly as we were swimming. & guess what? I"M DARK! wth!

We swim till 11am, then changed and went back home separately. Nini took 169/853ed back, AhGinn 72ed back while I 265eed back. I didnt know that it'll be so long and I nearly slept halfway. I went to my mom's shop to grab some bit before heading back. & I slept till 5pm and I dreamt something weird and funny and loads la. Nazzy, AhGinn, dont laugh. I somehow want some parts to be true la. The rest maybe its just illusion. Oh well, lets wait & see then.

I went to meet up Nazzy later in the evening at around 730pm and then went over to AMK Central to get her lenses. Walk over to Old Chang Kee to grab a bite and then browse AMK Hub with her. Walk the long way through the night market and sent her off to JS's bus stop.

Dearest Nini & Nazzy, you girls take care of yourself and one another while you both in Vietnam. I'll pray for both your safety for sure. Come back in one piece please. I'm gonna miss you girls very much. See you girls in a few hours time before you people leave. :D

I guess I'm done now. Let's blog more tomorrow then. (:

I want to improve my English, so now, let's blog in perfect English can? Hahahas.

I woke up in the morning and get ready for training which starts at 9am. I was 10 minutes early so I took my time to settle down. Today's training is not that tough as Coach emphasize more to the School Team rather than the Recreational Team. Oh well, not much to say on training then.

After training, I went home straight, had my lunch and then went downstairs to buy granny's medical stuffs. Blahblahblah. Had my nap for like 2 hours and then went to meet up NESHQ, excluding Rara. Went over to Nazzy's void deck at 4pm and slack till 7pm, Nazzy went back while the three of us went to get something to munch at Cheers & 7-Eleven. Nini wanted to see her old house so we went up and then sent Nini to MRT while me & AhGinn walk to Pasar Malam(Night Market).

& now, I've just finish tidy the whole house and wash all the dishes. The house was in a great mess and I have to clean it ALL BY MYSELF. Get it? ALL BY MYSELF! My dearest sister(actually not so la) only knows how to wake up and go school straight or either wake up and go work straight. That's it. And will be back most lightly by midnight or latest 3am. Mom and Dad will be working. Mom's part is to buy breakfast or kitchen stuffs and then headed for work. Dad's part is to sleep and straight go work. Granny's part? HAHA! She'll instruct me on doing the house chores and make sure it's her way. Little Bro is currently recovering from circumcision, so all he do is to sit and relax and watch tv or either play computer games.

I'm tired. Very very tired. I need a break. Every mess in the house is my part to clean it. You tell me how am I gonna spent my time on revision and my other plans? CCA and extra lessons or classes or whatever it is. June holidays doesn't seem to be like a holiday to me. Seeing people going abroad for holidays makes me feel so jealous. My dear Nini & Nazzy are leaving Vietnam. I'm sure to miss them so much. And then after they come back, my AhGinn bestie is leaving to I'm not sure when for 4days starting from 11th June to 15th June.

When is the right time can I go holiday with family or school, abroad? My mom thinks negatively. Worst, my Dad. He's damn strict la. He's too traditional. He dotes my little brother way too much, giving and infact buying everything he wants. What about us? His 2 daughters? Hello, we're still your children, mind you. He only gives us money if the things that we want to buy are necessary for daily uses. If not, HAH! don't bother asking then. Waste of time. You'll end up getting a lecture from him then. Mind you, our clothes and other stuffs, is all by our own savings la. So you see, if no money, means nothing then. :( My Mom too. She's too childish la. She keeps comparing our teenage life with hers. Come on, she's so nerdy during her teen years and she's the guai type. Those Mommy's daughter type. And we? OMG OMG! Mom, grow up, think wider can? Well, let's not talk about my family life here then. Too open lahs.

I want to slim down and grow taller. Not so tall la, average I mean. At least 165-168cm will do. Just a few more will do. (: And I want to cut down at least 5-10kg, it's a must must to do! Besides going for training, I think I'm gonna do some morning jogging at the park nearby and some other physical stuffs like sit-ups, push-ups, cruches, jumping & skipping. At least 100 each set. Yeah, that will do. And not forgetting, having a healthy and balance diet. Cheh cheh, talk like professional like that. Hahas. :D So yeah, tomorrow, I'm gonna have my morning jog with AhGinn. Let's see, what's gonna happen then. Today was suppose to go swimming with Nini & AhGinn before meeting Nazzy but the plan was cancel due to the bad weather. Some other days maybe.

Okeyhs, better get going, see you in some other post. :D